I am not, by definition, an optimist.
Shocked yet? Didn’t think so.
I use this blog mainly as a sounding board for my thoughts on a variety of topics, and for the most part, it works pretty well as an exercise in in free writing as well. Not being in school had left me without a direct, mandated reason to write, and so as a result I simply stopped. Not intentionally, but just because I didn’t have to anymore, and it wasn’t a natural thing for me to do.
I love to write, however, and I love to read. I spend a good part of my day every day doing one or the other. And I would like to be able to make this someplace where I am not only writing for myself, but for others as well. As it is, I’m stuck between delusions of grandeur and dejected defeatism when it comes to what to do with this blog – namely, that I quickly get bored with writing if I know that there will be no one reading it. As a fairly new venture, I’m at a loss for how to handle this other than just to force myself to write and hope something will happen. Looking back at the blog you can see how well this has worked – regular updates for a couple weeks followed by a two or three month haitus. Not exactly consistency.
And yet lately I’ve had plenty on my mind to talk about to coworkers, friends, and family that could easily be put to paper and posted here. Most of it involving politics or the Christian’s reponse to modern culture. I feel like I am being heavy-handed when I write on these subjects, though, and as a result I get almost afraid to write what I’m thinking about, because I fear it will drive people away rather than cause them to continue reading.
There’s that optimism again.
But I still want to write. I want to make this blog something that I can be proud of, and the easiest way to do that would be to just start blogging everything that comes to mind and just hope people find a few interesting things here and there. I’m not a brilliant writer, and I’m rarely happy with what I write, but the act of writing is cathartic, and it gives me something to point to as an accomplishment. So what the hell, I’ll just start writing whatever I want, and if you want to stick around and read, be my guest.
So how ’bout them Cardinals, eh?