For the last several months, I’ve been fighting a battle against myself. It’s a tough fight, and I’m making slow progress, but it’s measurable in the raw numbers. Here’s the problem: When you have a mile to travel, those few hundred feet you’ve come don’t seem like much. And when you move only a few feet at a time, it’s easy to lose track of your progress.
I’ve lost a lot of weight at this point, about 80 pounds; but I still have a long way to go. That sounds like a huge number, and in many respects it is, but I can’t take it for granted. At least some people are starting to notice. It’s encouraging. But tonight for some reason it just seems like nothing – I’m still huge, I’m still grossly out of shape, and I still have so far to go. I can’t help but wonder if this is going anywhere, if it’s possible for me to be anything close to “normal” sized. I’ve never experienced that, so I have no idea what it’s like. I don’t know what I’m missing or have to look forward to – it’s all an abstract. And it seems so far away.
Still. 80 pounds.
Here’s hoping I can dwarf that number. And that there are fewer nights like tonight going forward.
Silas is fighting the same battle. Keep going! 80 pounds is a very impressive number, don’t you believe otherwise. I’ve lost 90 since Gideon was born and it’s a been a fight the whole way. But I just remember that I want to be healthy, that I want to have more kids and be healthy and active for them.
Thanks for the encouragement! From your blog it’s obvious you’ve made a big improvement. Great work yourself :)